How can I effectively work with a team member I've had conflicts with in the past?

TEAMWORK

By Christophe Paka | April 19, 2025 | 4 min read

   

85% of workplace issues are rooted in unresolved conflicts. 🚀

Have you ever felt completely drained by the thought of collaborating with a team member with whom you’ve had conflicts in the past?

In today’s fast-paced work environment, overcoming past challenges is not just an option—it's a necessity.


How to Effectively Work with a Team Member You've Had Conflicts With in the Past

A Step-by-Step Guide to Effective Teamwork Strategies, Conflict Resolution in the Workplace, and Building Strong Teamwork Skills.


Introduction

Working with a colleague you once clashed with can feel like navigating a minefield. The tension, the potential for awkward encounters, and the fear of triggering another conflict can all add up to a stressful situation.

However, effective teamwork strategies and professional conflict management techniques make it possible to turn these challenging relationships into productive partnerships. In today’s post, we’ll explore actionable tips for resolving workplace conflict and improving team collaboration, ensuring that you not only survive but thrive in your professional environment.

By the end of this guide, you’ll understand:

  • The root causes behind conflicts with challenging colleagues.
  • Proven methods for professional relationship management.
  • Real-world example comparisons of good vs. bad conflict responses in teams.

Let’s dive in and transform past conflicts into opportunities for growth and success. 🎯


Deep Dive: Strategies & Solutions

A. Understanding the Challenge

Before implementing any strategy, it’s crucial to understand why the conflict exists.

  • Root Causes:
    Conflicts with team members often stem from:

    • Poor communication or misunderstandings.
    • Personality clashes or differing work styles.
    • Unresolved past issues or misinterpreted feedback.
  • Psychological Insights:
    Research in workplace psychology suggests that unresolved conflicts trigger stress responses, which can lower overall team morale. Studies demonstrate that when team members actively engage in conflict resolution in the workplace, stress levels drop and productivity increases—highlighting the importance of confronting rather than ignoring these challenges.

Understanding these factors is your first step toward effective professional conflict management.


B. Actionable Strategies

Let’s break down clear, actionable strategies for how to work with difficult team members and overcome team conflicts:

1. Initiate Open, Honest Communication

How to do it:

  • Schedule a one-on-one meeting in a neutral space.
  • Clearly state the goal: to improve collaboration and not to rehash the past.
  • Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel…” rather than “You always…”) to avoid sounding accusatory.

Tools & Apps:

  • Consider using digital platforms like Slack or Microsoft Teams for ongoing, quick check-ins.
  • Try video conferencing tools (Zoom, Google Meet) if working remotely.

đź’ˇ Quick Tip: Start with expressing appreciation for their skills; this sets a positive tone for effective communication in teams.

2. Practice Active Listening

How to do it:

  • Focus entirely on what your colleague is saying without planning your rebuttal.
  • Reflect back what you heard to ensure clarity (e.g., “So what you’re saying is…”).
  • Ask follow-up questions and confirm their perspective.

This approach is vital for building strong teamwork skills and shows that you value professional relationship management and team dynamics in the workplace.

3. Set Clear Goals and Boundaries

How to do it:

  • Define the specific objectives for your collaboration.
  • Outline roles, responsibilities, and deadlines to minimize ambiguity.
  • Reiterate that the focus is on achieving shared goals, not revisiting past conflicts.

Framework:
Use the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) method to create a structured plan that both of you can commit to.

4. Seek Mediation if Necessary

How to do it:

  • If attempts to resolve the conflict independently continue to fail, involve a neutral third party, such as a manager or HR representative.
  • Ensure the mediator understands both viewpoints and can facilitate a transparent discussion.

Expert Framework:
Professional conflict management advocates recommend mediation as a pragmatic step toward improving team collaboration and effective communication in teams.

5. Focus on Solutions, Not Blame

How to do it:

  • When discussing issues, steer the conversation towards how to prevent future conflicts rather than fixating on past mistakes.
  • Brainstorm together to find workable solutions that benefit both parties and the team.

Real-World Application:
Imagine two colleagues who used to clash over meeting deadlines. Instead of blaming each other for miscommunications, they developed a shared calendar system and set up weekly updates. This simple change significantly improved team dynamics in the workplace and helped them work with challenging colleagues in a more effective and harmonious way.


C. Real-World Examples

  1. Case Study: The Turnaround Team Member
    Bad Response:

    • In one scenario, a team member, Alex, consistently ignored emails from a colleague he had previously clashed with, leading to project delays and frustration among the team.

    Good Response:

    • Alex eventually invited his colleague, Jordan, for a coffee meeting to openly discuss their differences. By employing active listening and clarifying their respective roles, they redefined their responsibilities and rebuilt trust. This example of conflict resolution in the workplace underscores how addressing issues head-on transforms difficulties into opportunities for improved collaboration.
  2. Case Study: Mediated Resolution
    Bad Response:

    • When two marketers refused to work together after a public argument, it created a toxic work atmosphere, and their project suffered from miscommunications.

    Good Response:

    • Upon intervention by their manager, both took part in a structured mediation session. The process involved setting clear goals and boundaries and establishing a framework for regular check-ins. Ultimately, they not only met their project goals but also became more adept at handling difficult interactions in future collaborations.

These examples highlight the importance of professional conflict management, showcasing how tactical approaches can bridge gaps and rebuild professional relationships.


Expert Insights & Pro Advice

As renowned psychologist Dr. Emily Carter states,

"Conflict, when managed correctly, is not only healthy for team dynamics—it’s essential. It forces us to confront uncomfortable truths and, in doing so, propels us toward growth and understanding."

Here are some quick-win tips to apply right away:

  • Be Proactive: Don’t wait for tensions to boil over; address minor issues early.
  • Embrace Empathy: Try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective.
  • Keep It Professional: Maintaining a clear boundary between personal feelings and professional responsibilities is key to improving team collaboration.

Highlighting Common Pitfalls & Solutions

It’s easy to fall into certain traps when facing conflicts with challenging colleagues. Here are some frequent mistakes along with practical advice on how to avoid them:

  • Mistake: Avoiding the conversation altogether.
    Solution: Recognize that avoidance only escalates the issue. Schedule a meeting as soon as you identify the conflict.

  • Mistake: Making accusatory statements that trigger defensiveness.